Are expats different? Is there something in their DNA that causes them to pack their bags and leave family and friends of a lifetime to live in another country? Do they all have similar attributes that set them apart from their homeland-bound peers? What does it take to be an expat?
We found our answers in Paris, France. Erin Meyer is an affiliate professor of organizational behavior at INSEAD, the international business school, where she specializes in cross-cultural management. She also is the author of the new book, “The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business.”
A seasoned expat from Minnesota, Meyer has lived in France for 15 years with her French husband and children. She has spent most of her life outside of the United States, also living in southern Africa, Southeast Asia and Europe.
We asked Meyer to tell us what she believes are the 10 most important attributes needed to become a successful expatriate.
Cultural Understanding
“I think one of the most important things expats need to have is an understanding of the culture they are moving to,” she said. “But even more important, they need to learn how the culture sees them. Here is a quick example of what I mean. In the U.S. we pride ourselves on being blunt and direct, much more so than the Latin American or Asian cultures. But we are less direct when it comes to giving negative feedback or criticism, especially compared with European cultures.”
She recently worked with an American who moved to Russia. “He was totally unaware of how his own style of giving negative feedback was being perceived,” she said. “He was used to giving three positives for every negative and reinforcing positive behavior. When a member of his Russian team was not doing well, he called him into his office to give him feedback. But the Russian employee did not change his behavior. He discovered later that the Russian felt that he had received the most positive feedback of his career. So I think learning to understand how your own culture is perceived by the culture you are working with is one of the most basic and important skills you need to have when you move to another country.”
Flexibility
Meyer thinks flexibility also is high on the list of expat attributes. “The flexibility to be able to adapt to whatever situation might arise,” she said, “is very important.” “If you get flexibility down, the other things are not quite so difficult. In a multicultural work environment, for instance, it is not enough to lead in the American way. You have to learn how to adapt, to lead in a different way and that means forgetting some of the things you have learned and watch how people do it in your new environment.”
She provided a personal experience: “French culture puts a very strong emphasis on open debate and strong disagreement. It is even taught in the school systems here. When I first moved to France we were invited to a dinner party where I learned this first hand. The hostess brought up the topic of a golf tournament to discuss if it should be continued or not. The discussion became very heated and she was called egotistical and selfish. I was deeply uncomfortable. What was so surprising to me, though, was that 10 minutes later the topic changed and there seemed to be no hard feeling between anyone at the table. For me, it has been a very difficult thing to adapt to. When you get pulled out of your comfort zone, you often have a negative reaction to it, but that is just part of being flexible and adapting to local culture.”
Self-Reliance
Self-reliance also is an important attribute. “You may find at the beginning that you are quite alone,” Meyer explained. “When you live in another country you leave behind your family and your support system, but if you make an effort at the beginning to go out there and meet people, then I think you might find that in most situations you will have a lot of people who will be interested in you and curious about you. Self-reliance helps push you to get out and meet people and get integrated.”
Language Skills
One of the most difficult skills for expats to acquire is learning the local language. It is a fact that the older you are, the more difficult it is to acquire language proficiency. Meyer studied French in school for quite a while before she moved to France but she was still not at a level where she felt comfortable.
“I remember distinctly the time I had to speak at a conference in France, probably for no more than four minutes,” she said. “I rehearsed, rehearsed and rehearsed and when it was over people rushed over to congratulate me. When you make an effort in the local language, people really do appreciate it. Just showing that you are willing to make an effort means a lot.”
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